WOW

I had no idea Hubby would turn into what he has become. I don't even know this man.

It has been so hard to even find some semblance of normalcy for the past 6 weeks or so. I know it's coming, I know eventually that everything will work out for the best...I just want to over now.

The Wednseday of the week of the hospitilization Hubby (have to think of a new name for him I guess...any suggestions?) came over and informed me he was moving back in. He hadn't stayed after I came home...he went back to his brother's house.

On Wednesday evening on my way back from church services I called him and asked him to not come over to put the boys to bed. I was in a bad mood, the kids were fussy...I said it was time to start acting like a separated couple and that we had agreed the bed-time visits were only to ease the transition for the children and we were going on 3 months. His response was that he had just as much right to be here with the kids as I did and he hung up.

When we got home he was already here waiting...watching TV. I got the boys ready for bed (wasn't that why he was here in the first place??) After the kids were in bed I noticed the TV on in the back living room so I went to turn it off and there he sat...he informed me he had realized how much his kids needed him to be here and that he was moving back home. This was not an attempt at reconciliation, just spite.

I tried to figure out how this was going to work; was there going to be two families in one house, who was in charge of meals, cleaning, laundry, etc, etc, etc. All I got out of him was "I don't want to discuss this tonight."

The next day he went and filed for an Emergency Order for Protection on behalf of himself and #'s 4 & 5. He claimed he was in fear of imminent harm and the order was granted. He filed the papers with the marital home as his address. With this information it was ordered I had to leave the home and have no contact with him or the youngest 2 children until a hearing could be held. I tried everything in my power to get somebody to hear that THIS WAS NOT HIS RESIDENCE...it would have to wait for a hearing.

As I removed the few belongings I could I decided to make my first 'bitch' move. Not only did I take the brand new 47" LCD TV I had bought him for Christmas; I took the remote control for EVERY TV IN THE HOUSE. He can't live without TV and no remote was just a message that I had not just laid down and died.

I disappeared from my boys lives completely for 12 days. I lived in hotels with #3, drove her 20+ miles to town for school everyday, and finally called a lawyer. They had two daycare providers in as many days...how could he even justify this was 'in the best interest of the children.' I was a stay at home mom...now Mom was gone, sissy was gone, dad was living in the house, and the one day #5 was sent to a stranger's house (by himself) for daycare...my poor boy. In the beginning stages of separation anxiety so lets rip his mother out of his life and leave him with strangers...yep...best interest of the children! dumb ass.

My boys missed all the activities at church through Holy Week, I didn't get to see or talk to them on Easter Sunday...how I satyed so strong and focused is a testement to my will and strength.

At the hearing he was pretty much laughed out of court. His take on it though was that the judge took the easy way out and through the order out just so he didn't have to deal with it...ya, judges often treat the safety of children with very little regard...get your head out of your ass...

When I got home he was here...the boys were at daycare...again. I went to get them and the daycare provider asked for a copy of the order dismissing the original order...I said if she wanted one to call the sheriff, mine was at home, and I was there to get my boys.

It just got better from there...he 'informed' me that he would be, "sleeping in that bed and using that bathroom." indicating the master bedroom and bathroom. Huh...me too I said...if he thought I was going to just roll over and let him make the decisions now he had lost his damn mind! When he realized I was not going to be told where to sleep and in which bathroom I could pee he decided to sleep on the couch. Initially he continued to use the master bathroom and bathe the boys in the jacuzzi tub. After a few days of me getting in and out of the shower while he was shaving, brushing his teeth, or getting dressed he quit using MY bathroom! After a couple weeks he finally moved in to the spare bedroom and installed a key lock on the door.

Every time I leave the house he goes in to our room, goes through my things, and takes whatever he wants.

I feel very happy that my medications are obviously doing their job because I am not a paranoid wreck, unable to leave my house...if he wants it...have it...get over it already.

I want my kids, MY house, and every penny I can get from him!