I am very upset. I have spent the past two months trying to keep things as 'normal' in our house for myself and the children. I've rolled my eyes as many people have said that they couldn't do what I do and put up with all I have put up with; I roll my eyes because I'm not doing anything a parent who loves their kids shouldn't do...
The first few weeks were very difficult trying to sort out my emotions ensuring the needs of the kids are being met.
Now, here I am. The kids are at their Dad's place and I have slept the day away on the couch. The door is locked and I'm ignoring the phone when it rings. None of these are good signs as far as my emotional status is concerned.
I've noticed a downward trend in my health and of course played it down. Yesterday I finally contacted my doctor and he prescribed Atavan to see if it would help. So far it hasn't and I hate this.
My psychologist wonders if I need to be hospitalized; probably. I'm going to be gong through a nasty divorce and custody fight...being locked up in the loony bin ain't gonna look good.
She has tried to drill in to me that the alternative (not taking care of my mental health) is a mistake. On one level I get this. I understand. On the other hand, I am so afraid of being 'outed' and people are gong to think I don't deserve my kids, THEN WHAT?
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